Thursday, March 20, 2014

Deep Thoughts: Mommy Wars

So, it has been a while since I have posted on the blog.  I don't have any photos screaming at me to post (mostly since they're all still on my camera!) but I did say at the beginning of the year that maybe I would share some deeper thoughts on my blog.  I need something to blog about and this is what I have been thinking about lately and so I will try.  Here is the first in a series (of at least one) of Deep Thoughts.

When I became a mom, I never really dreamed that the world was so full of "mommy wars" know what I'm talking about.  Endless blog posts and facebook posts and arguments of which way is the "right" way.  The issues are too numerous to mention...breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding...disposable vs. cloth vs. no diaper...cosleeping vs. not...public vs private vs homeschool...working mom vs stay at home mom...overuse of ellipses (oh, wait, that's just my issue!) could go on to name a hundred more, I'm sure.

The more I think of it, the more that I think these arguments don't actually come down to who's right or wrong (in most cases there isn't a right or wrong).  For the most part, I think these arguments come down to one thing...


We doubt ourselves.  We all do.  And we feel guilty, often for no real reason.  Then we hear someone else telling us how the solution to all our problems is exactly what we're not doing.  Or we hear others praising the decisions of people who have made the opposite decision from us.  And what do we do?

We defend.

That's how we try to convince ourselves and others that we have made the "right" decision.  When, in fact, it doesn't really matter if it's the "right" decision, as long as it's the decision that is right for us and is the one that God has called us to.  In the defence, we perpetrate the cycle as people hear us allowing for only one option.

You know how sometimes you hear a Bible verse and you can't believe you've never noticed it before?  Well that happened to me a couple weeks ago and is what got me started on this.  It made me think of mommy wars because that's the stage of life I happen to be in but applies to so many other decisions in life (especially when you're trying to discern your motivation for choices in life).  When I heard it, I decided that this should be the battle cry of moms everywhere.  That this should be the death of mommy wars and all that goes with it.  So I am going to share it with you...

Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.  This is my rule in all the churches.  1 Corinthians 7:17

So, instead of criticizing and defending, we need to ensure that we are secure in what the Lord has called us to do in our lives.  Then, if someone asks, we can give them the reasons and our suggestions but also realize that they must lead the life that God has called THEM to...not the one God has called US to.

And that is the first edition of "Deep Thoughts".  (As an aside, I keeping thinking that title in the tone of the narrator who used to say "Pigs in Space"...if you remember that!)

Until next time...